So as parents we can't help but compare children. We compare our own children to each other. We compare ourselves or our siblings to our own children. We compare our children with children of friends and relatives. And this time around, with my second child, I can't help but appreciate my time with my first daughter, and how easy it was with only one.
My first daughter was a pretty easy baby from the time we took her home to when she officially became a "toddler." The major "problems" we had with her was that she came out face up when born, so she gave her mother a hell of a tear, and she ended up with both bruises on her head and a cone head from the forceps. She was also slightly jaundiced, had a heart murmur that cleared up later, has a milk allergy and had acid reflux. Even though this seems like a lot, when it came to breastfeeding she sucked, literally. She sucked for 30 to 45 minutes at a time and I, knowing nothing about breastfeeding, let her. Boy was I stupid.
My nipples cracked and bled for weeks. I had what looked like a rug burn around my nipples. I cried when she nursed but I was determined to feed her. When we took her to her first appointment, she had lost a lot of weight, more than usual. So, I had to feed her in the office and found that she was latching wrong, and was not eating but "love sucking." It seems I birthed a suckerfish and not a baby.
After resolving that problem with correct latching, pumping and LOTS of creams and ointments, she was the "perfect" baby. She fed every two to three hours and by one month old was sleeping six hours a night. Once we figured out she had acid reflux she rarely cried. She was easily soothed with a pacifier and some snuggle time with daddy. I was lucky she was so easy since my recovery was so tough. I cherished the hours at home to cook, eat lunch and dinner, watch t.v. and do laundry on my own time while she slept. How I long for that now... I didn't know how easy I had it!
Now that I have two children, one who is two and one who is 20 days, I realize how much time I spent just staring at my first daugher, watching her sleep. I got to exercise and play with the dog. I got to do all the things I normally did, but because of my slow recovery I just did them, well, slower. This second time around, I have little time to do any of those things.
This time, when my newborn sleeps, I scramble to eat something, play with my toddler, get dressed and sometimes put on deodorant and do my hair. When she isn't sleeping, she is eating constantly, at least every hour. She has no health problems, but she is definitely a diva who wants what she wants and will not settle for less. If she has a burp or is generally gassy, she will fuss until I take care of it. If she has hiccoughs or is tired, she wants to be cuddled and will fuss until I take care of it. If she has to poop or fart, she wants to be on her stomach and wants me to pat her butt and will fuss until I take care of it. I think the only person with a longer list of wants is probably making millions more than her. But, she is a diva nonetheless, and I have to laugh and cherish that when I am not crying and exhausted.
Yes, a few things are very different with two children and with the second child. However, I am glad with the second child I have the knowledge gained from the first. I am a more confident mother this time and I don't feel the need to panic or call the doctor or family when the slightest thing is wrong. Having a second child makes it easier to laugh and say "Been there, done that, got the t-shirt stains to prove it."
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