Trying to cook while caring for two children under two while my husband is at work is something I have to say I have attempted and failed. Here is my favorite and latest recipe attempt:
Chicken Salad Sandwich
Preparation time for new moms: 1.5 hours
Ingredients: can of chicken, 1/3 cup of ranch, 1/3 cup of mayo, bacon bits and three boiled eggs; two pieces sandwich bread
Step 1: Make sure both children are asleep or occupied.
Step 2: Get out all supplies and ingredients so you don't forget anything, since your memory isn't as good as it used to be B.C. (before children)
Step 3: Boil water on the stove.
Step 4: Open can of chicken and dice.
Step 5: Get toddler out of silverware drawer.
Step 6: Mix in ranch dressing and mayo. Find mayo you put down while getting toddler out of drawer.
Step 7: Rock newborn back to sleep after barking dog wakes her up.
Step 8: Reboil the eggs since you got busy and boiled all the water out of the pot. Set the timer so you remember this time.
Step 9: Get toddler off of bar so she won't eat all the chicken salad.
Step 10: Get screaming toddler milk to go with her chicken salad sandwich.
Step 11: Cut up egg and put in with chicken, mayo and ranch. Mix in bacon bits.
Step 12: Fix a glass of tea.
Step 13: Toast bread.
Step 14: Turn cartoons on for toddler.
Step 15: Breastfeed screaming newborn.
Step 16: Vow to buy premade chicken salad from Harris Teeter at the store.
Step 17: Add ice to tea. It has been sitting out so long it is hot.
Step 18: Have burnt piece of toast instead and wait for dinnertime. Watch soaps.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
Cut the Cord Already!
I never thought I would forget so much about newborns in the two years since I had one. Now that I have a newborn, I find myself getting upset when things don't go my way, but then I remember that newborns have a sort of "sixth sense," almost like the umbilical cord is physically taken away, but somehow an imaginary one still exists, allowing a child to know very specific things about his or her mom, and to know the worst time to want something.
For instance, my child will be sound asleep, so I figure I can cook dinner. Usually, since time is scarce, I don't start dinner until I am nearly starving (see Breastfeeding 101 in ANY mommy handbook). The second I fix my plate and sit down to eat, my month old daughter starts crying. And, since she won't take a bottle or a pacifer, I have to put the fork down and feed her. What a great diet, huh?
Another instance of this imaginary umbilical cord is when I start a project. I will have three baskets of laundry to fold, and while she is gliding in her glider with her butt clean, belly full and body rested, I will begin to fold laundry. Now, once I fold laundry I have to keep going, because my toddler LOVES to unfold it and toss it everywhere. So, I get halfway through folding and my little one starts crying. I stop and nurse her, knowing she is not hungry but not knowing anything else to do. She nurses for two minutes, long enough to go to sleep, but she won't sleep anywhere but in my arms. Hence, my house is full of unfinished projects and long to do lists.
Even my toddler tugs on the invisible cord every so often. She will sit and watch cartoons or build blocks for hours, but wants nothing to drink until I start to nurse my baby. Then, she will scream and throw a temper tantrum. That's what I get for being such an efficient mommy for so long, giving her everything she needed immediately.
By the way, it took me six hours to write this blog...
For instance, my child will be sound asleep, so I figure I can cook dinner. Usually, since time is scarce, I don't start dinner until I am nearly starving (see Breastfeeding 101 in ANY mommy handbook). The second I fix my plate and sit down to eat, my month old daughter starts crying. And, since she won't take a bottle or a pacifer, I have to put the fork down and feed her. What a great diet, huh?
Another instance of this imaginary umbilical cord is when I start a project. I will have three baskets of laundry to fold, and while she is gliding in her glider with her butt clean, belly full and body rested, I will begin to fold laundry. Now, once I fold laundry I have to keep going, because my toddler LOVES to unfold it and toss it everywhere. So, I get halfway through folding and my little one starts crying. I stop and nurse her, knowing she is not hungry but not knowing anything else to do. She nurses for two minutes, long enough to go to sleep, but she won't sleep anywhere but in my arms. Hence, my house is full of unfinished projects and long to do lists.
Even my toddler tugs on the invisible cord every so often. She will sit and watch cartoons or build blocks for hours, but wants nothing to drink until I start to nurse my baby. Then, she will scream and throw a temper tantrum. That's what I get for being such an efficient mommy for so long, giving her everything she needed immediately.
By the way, it took me six hours to write this blog...
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