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Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Recipe for Disaster

Trying to cook while caring for two children under two while my husband is at work is something I have to say I have attempted and failed.  Here is my favorite and latest recipe attempt:

Chicken Salad Sandwich

Preparation time for new moms: 1.5 hours

Ingredients: can of chicken, 1/3 cup of ranch, 1/3 cup of mayo, bacon bits and three boiled eggs; two pieces sandwich bread

Step 1: Make sure both children are asleep or occupied.
Step 2: Get out all supplies and ingredients so you don't forget anything, since your memory isn't as good as it used to be B.C. (before children)
Step 3: Boil water on the stove.
Step 4: Open can of chicken and dice.
Step 5: Get toddler out of silverware drawer.
Step 6: Mix in ranch dressing and mayo.  Find mayo you put down while getting toddler out of drawer.
Step 7: Rock newborn back to sleep after barking dog wakes her up.
Step 8: Reboil the eggs since you got busy and boiled all the water out of the pot.  Set the timer so you remember this time.
Step 9: Get toddler off of bar so she won't eat all the chicken salad.
Step 10: Get screaming toddler milk to go with her chicken salad sandwich.
Step 11: Cut up egg and put in with chicken, mayo and ranch.  Mix in bacon bits.
Step 12: Fix a glass of tea.
Step 13: Toast bread.
Step 14: Turn cartoons on for toddler.
Step 15: Breastfeed screaming newborn.
Step 16: Vow to buy premade chicken salad from Harris Teeter at the store.
Step 17: Add ice to tea.  It has been sitting out so long it is hot.
Step 18: Have burnt piece of toast instead and wait for dinnertime.  Watch soaps.

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